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Glad you found some peace with Jake's passing, mamag. It will come in time that you have the same with your husband's loss. Prayers.

Mamag15, I am so glad you were able to find peace about your son. Many years ago I tried to kill myself and, praise God, failed. I had no idea that it would have been so hard for my family. As many do, I had convinced myself they were better off without me. Years later my daughter tried several times to kill herself and I realized what it would have been like if I had succeeded. Praise God, she failed also. We both have gotten medication that controls our depression but are now seeing her daughter starting to suffer from the same disease. We are watching her closely and insisting she stay in touch with her doctor and stay on her meds. In some cases, like ours, it is a hereditary disease and not based on circumstances. And yet, we feel responsible in some way when it gets really bad for one of us. May God continue to be with with and comfort you in the loss of your husband.

That' so deep, mamag. Sounds a bit like the Vietnam memorial. I hope it gave you some consolation.
Such an importan memorial to remind us all tragedy can strike anyone at any time and it isn't anybody's fault. I am listening to an audio book a large part of which has been dealing with the aftermath of a son's suicide and how the family is struggling through an unusual retreat to deal with it.

Nlbuchanan, if you ever need help with anything there are hotlines and a lot of support groups just for suicide survivors. I am also a survivor of attempted suicide. The last one put me in the hospital as I was having mini seizures. I learned that with proper medication, help from others, and seeing my doctor regularly, I was able to cope with the problems that caused me to want to end life. Like you, I am so glad that I did survive. Now I can go on and help others who have lost loved ones to suicide and those who attempt it. One thing I always tell everyone and you can tell this to your daughter and your granddaughter:
Your life matters and there is always someone out there who needs you. The most important thing to remember: You are loved even if you don't think so. And like I said, there is help out there even if you just want to talk. I will be praying for you and your girls. Sending big gentle hugs.

Pixipixil, can you please tell me the name of that book you are reading? I am doing better knowing my son is okay now. There is still so much more going on that my depression consumes me. And the memorial is a little bit like the Vietnam wall only this has pictures of our sons and daughters on it. If you want the website, let me know and I will give it to you. Have a blessed day my friend.

Hi mamag. The book is Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty. It is about people with differing reasons for going to a meditation/health spa. One is a family of three who lost their son to suicide and how each of them secretly believes he/she is responsible. It's a novel so I don't know how accurate the info in it is but one thing they do say--(the son was on meds)-- is that many suicides are totally unforeseen by friends and family because the impulse to do it may come on the person suddenly from nowhere. I "read" it via audio discs--15 in all and I think it's well past the middle before the family is dealt with in any detail.
The protagonist is a once popular romance novel author who has just gotten her first rejection and is plagued by a particularly nasty review on the internet which clearly is bogus so a lot of the story revolves around her. It was entertaining if nothing else so it might take your mind off your worries for a while.

I may check that book out pixi. It sounds like something I went through with my son's suicide. So much anger, guilt, and uncertainties. Thank you for the information. Hopefully, it will help,

I'm not sure it will do too much more than get your mind off things for the most part until you hit that section which is a pretty small part of the whole thing but I enjoyed the audiobook, Usually I get tired of any book that exceeds ten discs. I hope you won't be disappointed.

I understand that one. As a little girl I used to hide in the closet whenever my Dad would blow up a balloon for me.

Morning All, hope everyone is hanging in there today. Aussie I'm not partial to balloons either unless they are water balloons lol!! Before all of my siblings had children and we would get together at my parents house ( in Redding, Ca, where it gets to 110 degrees easy in the summer) and have epic water balloon fights. During one such fight one of my brothers brought out big nerf water guns that he had bought for everyone. My parents home has huge yards, so there was plenty of room to run and hide behind the oak trees. There was 6 of us plus our spouses so it was a big group. We had so much fun and my parents would laugh to see us so very wet, good thing they had lots of towels lol!! Aussie also very glad to hear your back is doing better You all stay safe.

I hate balloons. I suffer from PTSD and when I hear a balloon pop I get freaked out or any loud noises for that matter.

I feel so sorry for the people who don't believe in God or noticed God's love in their lives. The love is always there and all we have to do is accept it. Such a simple formula! Blessings, aussie!

Don't have a phobia but also shy away from balloons popping. I don't contact that much but when my husband has to pop the cork on champagne I am very uncomfortable until the cork has not hit me or something breakable.