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So sorry for your pain. You have my prayers, stay strong.

So sorry
love and prayers

Oh my goodness aussie - I am so sorry. I'm not good with words. But please know that you are so very important as a person. You have touched so many of us puzzlers here. In a way you are a part of our lives now. Please don't leave us. Life is always worth living no matter how dark things can be at times. My prayers are with you always. gloria

It is not a burden to us, dear aussie. Medications can have terrible effects on our brains and I believe he was not thinking clearly. There may be hope for the future, but it's slim. I pray that you find peace in your heart and remember, God never closes a door that He doesn't also open a window. Focus on the window and what it may reveal to you. Blessings upon you.

Aussie, I am so sorry and shocked to read this and you will be in my prayers for peace and healing.

My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessed be. Grammy hugs.

Wow. You and your hubby are definitely in my prayers. What a really awful situation to have to go through. Every emotion from desolation to anger must be running through you right now. What's happened is like getting a severe cut in that every nerve ending is screaming from having been injured. You must not think that life is not worth living. That is your injury talking. I think this has been building in him for a while, considering the things you've told us in your comments about his condition. Please talk to God, incessantly if you have to. His separation from you doesn't necessarily mean there can be no reconciling. At this point you don't have all the facts so please don't rush to hasty conclusions. We will all pray for you dearest aussie Hazel. We love you.

Hazel, Life is always worth living. You have to cope the best way you can and trust in yourself. Loss of any kind is hard but you will get through it. The hardest thing to do is to face everyday head on. Realize that you are a giving person and the world needs giving people. We have all had heartbreak, but you will get better. Ask family and friends for help. Just get bad thoughts out of your head. Go outside and be with nature. Help ailing friends. You will be better!!! I did...

Oh Aussie. I can't believe it. You were so happy. I will pray and am praying. You have many friends here who appreciate you and even love you. We aren't any substitute for a husband but know you are not alone.

I cannot thank you all enough, you are all so precious. I know the pain will pass and that life goes on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs.

Dear aussie, the wrong antidepressant can make the depression worse instead of better. I know, I've tried them all. With him not being able to find steady work for such a long time, he must be feeling worthless. Not wanting to add to your burdens, you need to be praying especially hard for him right now. If he left so many personal things behind, he may be feeling suicidal. If he has gone "home" to the U.S. it could be toput distance between the two of you so as to reduce the pain for you if he does "do something stupid.". You must be strong for him. If he does attempt suicide, and fail, he will need you so much more than ever. I know this is not what you wanted to hear but remember, whatever he does IS NOT YOUR FAULT! I convinced myself my family would be better off without me pulling them down with me. He may be thinking the same thing and really trying to protect you because he loves you so much. Hang in there, dear friend, God may need to use you in a big way when your husband starts thinking more rationally. God bless and strengthen you.

Prozac has a long history of causing various mental problems when used. Many of the "newer" antidepressants seem to have been rushed into production and, unfortunately, our Food and Drug Agency (FDA) has had its budget cut so much that they rely heavily upon drug companies' research, without knowing or really checking if that research data has been manipulated to produce better results than the actual research provided. It's a scandal that no one seems willing to do much about. The thing that really pushed this issue was the Phen-Fen diet pills that was doing a lot of harm to people.

Hopefully, as the Prozac gets out of his system, he'll come to his senses.

The one thing to remember is that you have to try to keep strong. I'm not religious, but I do hope things work out for the best for the both of you.

Are there people you can talk with - minister, family members, friends - anyone who can provide a shoulder for you to cry on if you feel the need?

Hazel this happened to me 18 months ago, my husband has metastic prostate cancer and was on lots of drugs. He had been gone 9 months when he finally contacted me to sort all our finances we were coming up to 50 years married. We were both 21 when we got married. We met and when he saw me he just burst out crying and we hada long talk, he was extremely depressed, we met on dates and are back togther again. We found out one of his drugs had caused his break down - Gabapentin - we had had a nervous break down so don't write a line under things, "miracles" do happen and life is worth living!!!. Thinking about you
Sheila

Hazel,
Life is worth living no matter what happens. Trust in God; He will take care of you. Pray; never, never stop praying and know that all these wonderful puzzlers are here for you whenever you need to talk. My prayers, thoughts and wishes are with you to face whatever tomorrow may bring. God keep you.

I am so sorry. Of course I will pray for you, that you have the "peace that passes all understanding, " because this situation is beyond human comprehension. Yes, the drugs may be the trigger. I wish I could say it will be harder to get in the USA, but it probably won't. But there are doctors who don't give drugs so readily, and work to find the underlying cause. I pray right now that he is led to a doctor like that. There can be all kinds of physical causes that bring about depression. We will pray especially for your well-being during this time.

Thank you Sheila, everyone has been wonderfully supportive on here. God bless you. Hazel

Thnk you JamieT and nlb, I do have a lot of support, but at the moment need time alone to sort out what needs to be done. God bless you. Hugs.

I am so shocked and saddened and my heart breaks for you. I am praying that God will hold you very close and comfort you as only He can. I am literally crying right now. Please don't hesitate to come here and unburden yourself to us. God bless you. Love and hugs, Karen.

Aussie, I am praying for you too. What a shock for you. I agree that his actions could be effects of the drug, and also that you are smart to take the time to sort out what needs to be done, since you have no control over his actions. Praying hard beloved Aussie.

Aussie, when life gets too hard to stand ---kneel. God bless you. My prayers too go out to you and your husband.

I am so sorry to hear of this. Trust in God and he will be there for you. I will keep you in my prayers

Hazel. I an so sorry for all that is happening in your life, present and ongoing. I can only add my prayers and endorse all the advice and well wishes that you are receiving from everybody, know that you will get through this what ever the outcome. Thinking of you as I often do and sending positive thoughts your way. xxVicki

Oh my heart goes out to you Hazel. Sending love and prayers.

Hazel, have you heard anything yet from him or his family?

I hope you are feeling a bit more like life is worth living. When I feel very low I sometimes envision myself sitting next to Jesus. What would you say to Him if you were sitting next to Him?

Right now my faith is at the lowest ebb ever. My own father hated me and always mistreated me. It is hard not to make a comparison with him and God at the moment. Hugs.

Dearest aussie, I'm so sorry you've had such a rough go of things during your life. God doesn't hate you, you can count on the fact that He has always loved you and always will. People will always disappoint because we are all flawed. But God is perfect. Give you hurt and disappointment to Him, ask Him for His help. Don't worry about using what I call "Bible language" (thee, thou, etc.); just talk directly to Him.

Hugs and continued prayers to you.

Please, Aussie, ask your pastor to get you into a support group so you have people who can help.

Yes, if nothing else reach out to one person, just one. You need to step back and consider everything, but you also, probably, should not be entirely alone with this right now. I was in a bad situation several years ago and being asked to keep my husband's secret, and was so alone in that. Things got much better when someone helped.

Too late for that Pixi, but thank you for caring. Hugs.

Hugs to you. Try social services then. Why is it too late to get help from your church? That should never be. Find another church. That pastor didn't like your poems either. My aunt was very hurt when her choir director kicked her out of a choir she had been in for many years. (He was new.) I told her to change churches, too. She finally did and was much better for it. Get some charismatic church. They are the most uplifting and caring.

Hazel, why is it too late to ask your pastor about a support group?

Maybe we are your support group. We sure care about your well-being, and we care about you. Some of us have had similar experiences, and most of us have had times when we weren't exactly happy with God. Somehow we survived, and somehow you will also, given time. Give yourself time and freedom to express your disappointment to God.

Such a shock to have that happen, prayers sent to you

Hank you everyone, I do appreciate your kind words and support. Certainly gives one a warm glow. Hugs

If I understand correctly the function of a support team is to listen, emphathise as much as possible, at times to give suggestions, but not get upset if the other party doesn't follow the suggestion immediately. I think we can do that. So think about the suggestions, Hazel, but don't worry about what we will say if you don't find them feasible. I would check out a different church if there are any close enough. Is there someone in your neighborhood you like or admire? Where do they go? If they like it you probably will as well. If your church is not a loving, supporting bunch of people, then they are missing the point of Jesus' New Commandment, that we love one another.

Just catching up on some puzzles here and saw Aussisapphire's post. Will be adding in my prayers and comforting thoughts. (((hugs)))

Aussie, I've been away from C4J and am just finding this post. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry for this hell that you are walking through. I know it sounds trite, but cling to Jesus right now, He knows your pain and loves you dearly. Let Him hold you and comfort you. Let Him guide you each day. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

Hazel, May the Holy Spirit give you wisdom and guidance in this situation and lead in in the way you should go and may the Lord be with you and provide comfort you can understand each day.

Thank you Robert, it is now eleven weeks since he left and has established himself in the USA where he was from originally, but been here in Australia for 45 years. He is in Ohio, has a job, a place to live and transportation. I don't ask him too much as he is keeping in touch and I don't want anything to lock me out of that communication. Thank you for your kindness and your prayers. Hugs.

Thanks for the update Aussie. Please know that we all continue to hold you up in prayer. Hugs back to you!

Thank you for the update. Stay strong aussie

Thank you kjd and globug. It is not easy to hang on to that small shred of hope, but it seems every time I am about to give up Joel Osteen's ministry keeps me going as well as those wonderful people on here that I sometimes feel I don't deserve. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hugs.

Thank God he's keeping in touch with you; that's a relief. I feel certain that one day you will find out what made him do what he did. aussie, God speaks to all of us in many different ways; one way he's speaking to you is through your puzzler friends. And we ALL deserve to have loving, God believing friends. Hugs to you.

Glad to read this update, Aussie dear. I've been working a lot and not commenting much, but I do look for yours and always hope you're doing well and staying strong. Prayers for you always, and our circle of puzzlers who support each other.

Did you know much about your husband's past when you married him? It's beginning to seem as if something from his past spooked him and he was afraid for his safety and yours. I will pray that for Christmas God will send you answers that give you peace.

Aussie, we all deserve friendship, and from the comments, I think you have plenty of it on this site. Hugs and prayers, always.

Thank you aknan, you are special. Hugs.

You have to stay tuff and get where there is people who will support you. try not to be alone if you can help it. stay in the will of God and do a lot of praying. I will be praying for you also.

Thank you jud13. I appreciate everyone on here who has been so supportive. Hugs.

True it's not a burden to us Aussie. We've all gone through struggles and I think we sometimes need to vent. I myself went through a painful situation. A boyfriend of 3 years decided to cheat and right in front of me. I confronted him and he replied "Oh we're just friends". Yeah right. He wanted me to live in the house while he dated this woman. He couldn't make a decision so I made the decision and left.

Good for you carol.

Just read your post after doing the puzzle. Hope everything is much better for you. I love the things you say in your posts. God bless you!

Hi elijah - thank you for your concern and yes, things are much better now. Just trying to change my name back to my maiden name and PayPal has just made it so difficult because I have neither divorce or separation papers. Separated for almost two years now and no chance of reconciliation (long story). We don't have separation certificates in Australia, so had to open a new account with PayPal who would not let me use my old email address. So now that I have a new account with PP it has messed up my account with ebay. Another mess and not yet resolved. However, I have settled in t being single again and am quite content with my life as it is. Thanks again elijah - yu and lots of others have just been so supportive on here that I cannot thank you all enough. Glad you are enjoying my posts, it is helping me as well looking them up. Loving hugs.

So sorry for your troubles Aussie - I wish I could change your mind - life is worth living! You aren't a burden Aussie! Send lots of prayers and hugs!

Have had issues with Paypal - have even received Phishing emails. Then I've received emails saying tthanks for your purchase - when I didn't purchase anything. Drugs can do a number on the body - even thought life wasn't worth living either. I don't have much family contact either.

Just keep working on everything. Things will get better as time goes by.

Hello Aussiesapphire, Just found this 'thread' tonight. How are you doing? Think of you often, and wish you joy and peace for the New Year!

Hi kjd, it has been over two years now and I have come to terms with it all and accepted that I am single again, though still married to him, and am content with my lot in life. God has given me some wonderful friends both here where I live and on this amazing site. He seems to be happy in his new relationship and I hope it works for him. I had a wonderful Christmas day with my sister, so peaceful and quiet and I am grateful for all God gives me. Take care and God bless. Hugs.

Oh, Aussie, sorry to hear about your sadness. I'm sure all of your friends here will be praying for you. I'm starting mine right now. God loves you and so do WE!

I've had one of those dark moments myself.

Awww - Sorry to hear that you're going through so much pain. Yes I know about prozac - I have relatives that were given this drug. Life is always worth it - I send lots of hugs and prayers.

Thanks marine and carol, that was over three years ago and for the most part I have gone on with my life with the support of friends and relatives. Not sure why it all happened, but do know that God had a purpose. Hugs.

Hi I have just reread all of these post and I am wondering how you are doing? Is he still in contact with you? I hope your life is a lot better now

Hi Debbie - no do not hear from him at all and he has never divorced me, but I have accepted that it was not meant to be and am happy with my life now as it is. On Monday it will be four years since he left and as a couple of my friends have suggested I believe I got a lucky escape as at least he didn't take anything financially from me, just destroyed my trust in men forever. Thanks for caring Debbie. Hugs.

Thanks for updating us. Life just isn't easy, Must be the Lord wants us to look forward to heaven! My church class has been doing a study on the book 55 answers to questions about Heaven. It is a good focus.

Will see if I can get it here. Hugs Coravee.

Sorry, the correct title is 55 ansers to questions about Life after Death, by Mark Hitchcock. He uses a lot of scripture and explains reasons for various views.

Thanks Coravee will check it out. Hugs.